Well, I survived the great blog and bog blocks.
Christmas morning arrived in its usual glory. The lane alarm ladies woke everyone up at 6 am by yelling to each other from opposite ends of the lane. They pretend that they are employed to sweep the lane, but really they are charged with making sure everyone gets out of bed before any sensible person would want to.
Then at 6:30 am, bang on schedule, the Happy Birthday water truck rolls by. At 7:00, my cretin of a neighbour who lives upstairs slams his door closed then charges down the stairs singing at the top of his voice. At 7:30, the woman in the shop downstairs pulls back the shutters while yelling at her son to get up. At 8:00, the high school next door blares out the national anthem, then some ‘exercise’ music.
In other words, the same old Yesterday Once More, Groundhog Day China morning. Cacophony.
Christmas? Oh yeah!
The papers, both here and abroad are going on about how the Chinese are adopting western holidays and festivities. Nonsense! They are adopting shopping. That’s all. Everything else bashes on as normal. (Except the DVD shop.)
Anyway, I have a fairly boring morning checking my favourite websites, none of which have been updated for days because the relevant staff are
too drunk on holiday. Then, through the coffee cleared mists of yesterday, I remember
the sad death of my plunger. And that I may need it again soon. The plumbing around here leaves something to be desired.

So I drag on some clothes and head on out to the local market. I have promised to cook for a friend so I need to buy some edibles and, of course, replace my dead plunger. If you are ever lost for what to do on Christmas Day, just remember that you can come to China and buy a plunger. Best Christmas present I ever bought myself.
Anyway, food was bought, prepared, eaten etc to our great satisfaction then my phone rang. My mobile phone with “service” supplied by the morons at
China Mobile. It’s my aged mother calling from the UK. She informs me that my father is spending his first Christmas at home for a few years – he is not a well man and has been in and out of hospital – and that I can speak to him in a minute. Then, mid-conversation, my phone goes dead.
I take it for granted that this is line congestions, but further investigation shows that the bandits have actually cut me off for non-payment! At 7 pm on Christmas Day! Thanks Guys!
Of course, I could use my land line but that has been disconnected for non-payment since the fat guy from Hunan was running the joint. I never used it but kept it for the internet connection. They separated the phone and internet fees a while back, so I dumped the phone.
And so to bed. My parents will call again at New Year. No worries.
BOXING DAY
I get up, try to remember who, what, where, why etc. then drag myself off to the China Mobile shop to pay. As mentioned before the main office has replaced human beings with idiotic machines, but I have found an older, less popular office which still manages to employ organic cash extractors. I pay ¥500. This would take me several hours in the main office, but here it is dealt with very efficiently and my service is immediately restored. I am handed a receipt / bill / balance or something. We get one of these every time we pay. No one understands them. I have tried to get explanations from China Mobile staff, tenured maths professors, local bar hounds, friends, families, fish. No one knows!
But I can work out that I have been disconnected for owing the company a huge ¥16.88. Just over £1 or $2.
Bah! Humbug!
tags: liuzhou christmas groundhog day plunger plumbing china mobile
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