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Silent Night. Not Quite.

posted Tuesday, 25 December 2007

Christmas Eve was eventful.

First there was all the problem of whether or not this blog had fallen prey to China’s Net Nanny, a situation still not totally resolved. It was not to be the only thing blocked yesterday!

Then I went out for some essential supplies. No, not the beer. That was procured ages ago and anyway the beer shop is just outside my window. You know. The lumpy stuff we put into our mouths. Sometimes. Food!

Of course, it being Christmas, I also wanted to stock up on a few newly minted pirate DVDs to while away the hours. To my utter shock, my preferred shop was closed. Looks like the owner has come over all western and decided to close for Christmas. That’s what his notice said. Being new to this game, he got it slightly wrong and closed a day too early!

So, I stagger home under the weight of far too much supermarket loot which I can’t remember asking for, but without the weight of movies.

PlungerI cook a bit of supper then notice that my shiny, relatively new western style toilet is completely blocked. I roll up my sleeves, grab my trusty plunger and start plunging. The toilet gurgles a bit but nothing much happens. I try again more vigourously and finally I'm rewarded by a flowing away of 'debris'.

A few hours later, my guests arrive and one feels the need to 'use the facilities'. A few minutes later, I'm informed that there is a problem in the toilet. Yes, it has re-blocked itself. 

I plunge and plunge with no result, while my friends watch Shrek yet again!

Finally the plunger snaps with toilet still firmly blocked. No choice. I have to call the local extortionist plumber. For a fee, he bangs away for about an hour, mumbling and grumbling. As midnight arrives, he is still at it!

His usual unblocking tools fail, so he has to bash a hole through the back of the seat, clear the block, then cement up the hole again. This he does. He then bashes a hole in my wallet and clears that, too!

Then he announces that we cannot use the toilet for 24 hours. Come on! It's Christmas. My house is full of drunks! What goes in, must come out! And a lot is going in.

to be continued

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1. Valenciano left...
Tuesday, 25 December 2007 5:50 pm

UPSSS And I thought that my mother-in-law was trouble... I feel better after reading you. Happy Christmas! Feliz Navidad!


2. canrun left...
Tuesday, 25 December 2007 7:59 pm

Mate, for as much back and forth you and I've been having recently, I am absolutely, positively,100% NOT shi--ing you on this. Two days ago my brilliant (Liuzhou) wife threw a bar of SOAP down the toilet and flushed it. Don't ask. Must be common in the bridge city. Well, you already know what happened. That puppy backed like my colon at Indian Kitchen. No luck flushing, either. For two days. Today, finally called the plumber. 170 kuai and a newly-cemented base later he informed me...don't flush it for 24 hours! I am not making that story up at ALL. We're more alike than you may think. Go--amn Lou Si Fen must do something to these women! But they never let us throw TP down the toilet. Soap is ok, though. Go figure. Aya, indeed.


3. liuzhou left...
Tuesday, 25 December 2007 10:22 pm :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com

Spooky!

Though I can't blame a woman for my mishap. Totally my fault! And it set me back ¥180. You must have got a discount!


4. JO MISOOURI left...
Wednesday, 26 December 2007 5:50 am

MAYBE THE GREEK MODE SHOULD BE THE ORDER OF THE DAY THERE IN THE KHAZI'S? THOUGH SOME MIGHT THEN THINK IT'S 'PRE-TORN' FOR THEIR CONVENIENCE.... mERRY cRIMBO BY THE WAY : )