Groundhog Day

Every morning for the past three years, I've woken at 5:59 to the sound of, not Sonny and Cher, but the joyful refrains of "Happy Birthday to You". I leap out of bed demanding presents and cake, only to sink back in disappointment at the recognition of just another day in China.

After a while, I decided to track down the source of this mysterious and inappropriate serenading and eventually homed in on the culprit. Every morning, a water truck patrols the streets spraying water on the roads, presumably to dampen down the dust. It is a fairly dusty place. For reasons only known to themselves, the local authorities have decreed that the truck play "Happy Birthday" continuously at full volume. Perhaps this is a public service provided on the grounds that it must be someone's birthday. However, I have another theory.

It is my considered opinion that the truck driver is a long forgotten victim of the cultural revolution. (A bit like those Japanese soldiers who occasionally turn up in odd jungles, unaware that the war ended back when they were lads.) Once a wealthy landlord or politician with the wrong friends or, heaven forbid, an English teacher, this poor chap was sent off for re-education through labour. Of course, driving around all day enjoying the sights was a bit too comfortable, so they included a bit of torture. I mean it cracks me up every morning and I only hear it for a few seconds. This poor individual has to listen to it each and every day - all day!

As I was pondering this poor man's plight, something else struck me. I hear it every morning. Although it is the dry season now, and spraying makes some sense, it does rain sometimes. In fact, in the wet season, spring and early summer, it can rain for days. Why do I still hear the water truck? Perhaps he changes to water collecting - or perhaps it's just part of his punishment. Or more probably, the people who have birthdays in the rainy season complained about missing out!

Update (April 30th, 2007) Video evidence has been uncovered. Click here.)

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