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Laowai Laurels 2006!
posted Sunday, 5 March 2006
It's that time of year again! The votes are in and counted; the nominees are huddled in nervous anticipation. Will they be praised, humiliated or, even worse, totally ignored. The wait is over. Here we go.
As ever, the Liuzhou Laowai Laurels are awarded to Liuzhou organisations or businesses (or Liuzhou branches of national concerns) for their excellence (or otherwise) in providing services to the expatriot community over the previous year.
1. Unhelpful and Generally Useless Organisation of the Year
Winner: The Bank of China
For making changing real money into RMB so complicated by demanding photocopies of your passport and claiming their photocopier is broken so you have to go on a hike to find a copy shop, and for demanding you fill in not one, but two forms full of irrelevant and stupid questions before they give you your money. More here.
Runner up: Liuzhou Railway Station (as always).
2. Lovely People You Want to Hug Award
Winner: Maochang Glasses Shop on Longcheng Road.
For fixing my glasses after I sat on them, giving them an ultrasonic bath then refusing to charge me a bean for the service. (and for speaking some English!)
Runner-up: Last year's winner, China Mobile who are still as lovely as ever.
3. Astonishing Turnaround Award
Winner: Liuzhou Post Office
No doubt stung by winning the "Unhelpful and Generally Useless Organisation of the Year" award last year, they gutted the building, rebuilt it and now offer a reasonable service. I picked up a parcel just yesterday and, all in all, it was a reasonably painless operation and the staff were polite and friendly. The Power of the Laurels!
Runner-up: None
4. Sad Disappearance of Restaurant Award
Winner: Bareheaded
For disappearing within months of receiving last year's "Restaurant of the Year Award". The Curse of the Laurels!
5. Disappointment of the Year Award
Winner: Don't Know
For organising a performance by The Chinese Disabled Acrobatic Dance Troupe here in Liuzhou, publicising it heavily then making a precise number of 0 tickets available. Even my heavy duty government contacts couldn't get tickets. If it's a private show, don't publicise it!
Runner-up: None
6. Musical Event of the Year Award
Winner: "TongYiShouGe"
This popular national television live music show paid a visit to Liuzhou and held a concert in Liuzhou's Sports Arena. Ok! It wasn't Glastonbury! Or Woodstock. But, it did include a 30 second clip of your humble correspondent being interviewed by a beautiful and very famous television hostess. As a result, I received about 200 phone calls from friends all over China saying, "Liuzhou Laowai! You are on TV!" I even found a few old friends I thought I had lost! The music was the usual Party approved Cantopap, but still got to be worth an award, I reckon!
7. Restaurant of the Year
Winner: None
This category has has been suspended due to them closing down all the restaurants I like.
Note: The judging panel for the Laowai Laurels consists of me and ... well, just me really. However, nominations are always welcome and adjustments may be made later.
For making changing real money into RMB so complicated by demanding photocopies of your passport and claiming their photocopier is broken so you have to go on a hike to find a copy shop, and for demanding you fill in not one, but two forms full of irrelevant and stupid questions before they give you your money. More here.
Runner up: Liuzhou Railway Station (as always).
2. Lovely People You Want to Hug Award
Winner: Maochang Glasses Shop on Longcheng Road.
For fixing my glasses after I sat on them, giving them an ultrasonic bath then refusing to charge me a bean for the service. (and for speaking some English!)
Runner-up: Last year's winner, China Mobile who are still as lovely as ever.
3. Astonishing Turnaround Award
Winner: Liuzhou Post Office
No doubt stung by winning the "Unhelpful and Generally Useless Organisation of the Year" award last year, they gutted the building, rebuilt it and now offer a reasonable service. I picked up a parcel just yesterday and, all in all, it was a reasonably painless operation and the staff were polite and friendly. The Power of the Laurels!
Runner-up: None
4. Sad Disappearance of Restaurant Award
Winner: Bareheaded
For disappearing within months of receiving last year's "Restaurant of the Year Award". The Curse of the Laurels!
5. Disappointment of the Year Award
Winner: Don't Know
For organising a performance by The Chinese Disabled Acrobatic Dance Troupe here in Liuzhou, publicising it heavily then making a precise number of 0 tickets available. Even my heavy duty government contacts couldn't get tickets. If it's a private show, don't publicise it!
Runner-up: None
6. Musical Event of the Year Award
Winner: "TongYiShouGe"
This popular national television live music show paid a visit to Liuzhou and held a concert in Liuzhou's Sports Arena. Ok! It wasn't Glastonbury! Or Woodstock. But, it did include a 30 second clip of your humble correspondent being interviewed by a beautiful and very famous television hostess. As a result, I received about 200 phone calls from friends all over China saying, "Liuzhou Laowai! You are on TV!" I even found a few old friends I thought I had lost! The music was the usual Party approved Cantopap, but still got to be worth an award, I reckon!
7. Restaurant of the Year
Winner: None
This category has has been suspended due to them closing down all the restaurants I like.
Note: The judging panel for the Laowai Laurels consists of me and ... well, just me really. However, nominations are always welcome and adjustments may be made later.