To the leaders of this modern, forward thinking, freedom loving city,
I wish to apologise from the heart of my bottom for seeing today the thing which I didn’t see because it didn’t happen. I know it didn’t happen because, if it did, the good honest leaders would tell us so, but they didn’t so it didn’t.
When I walked past the government headquarters today and saw the large crowd, who weren’t there, standing outside not holding placards, I naturally assumed that they were there to congratulate the city leadership on their wisdom and to wish them a Happy New Year. Or perhaps to thank them for digging up the entire city centre to build an underground shopping mall in a flood zone. So happy were they that I imagined I saw several policemen holding them back from entering the building to personally shake the leaders’ necks hands.
I was clearly mistaken as, of course, the crowd wasn’t there at all. And they certainly weren’t complaining that the government have confiscated their land without compensation. That would be ridiculous. And would explain why the placards I didn’t see didn’t mention this problem (which doesn’t exist).
I hereby promise that if I ever see anything again which isn’t there, I will report it immediately.
Liuzhou Laowai.
tags: liuzhou government demonstration
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