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A Self Criticism

« H E Liuzhou News :: Liuzhou Life :: Censorship :: Strawberry Fields :: email
posted Monday, 7 January 2008
To the leaders of this modern, forward thinking, freedom loving city,

I wish to apologise from the heart of my bottom for seeing today the thing which I didn’t see because it didn’t happen. I know it didn’t happen because, if it did, the good honest leaders would tell us so, but they didn’t so it didn’t.

When I walked past the government headquarters today and saw the large crowd, who weren’t there, standing outside not holding placards, I naturally assumed that they were there to congratulate the city leadership on their wisdom and to wish them a Happy New Year. Or perhaps to thank them for digging up the entire city centre to build an underground shopping mall in a flood zone. So happy were they that I imagined I saw several policemen holding them back from entering the building to personally shake the leaders’ necks hands.

I was clearly mistaken as, of course, the crowd wasn’t there at all. And they certainly weren’t complaining that the government have confiscated their land without compensation. That would be ridiculous. And would explain why the placards I didn’t see didn’t mention this problem (which doesn’t exist).


I hereby promise that if I ever see anything again which isn’t there, I will report it immediately.

Liuzhou Laowai.

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comments (6)


1. Jerry left...
Monday, 7 January 2008 8:26 pm

Oh man! You've been there too long!


2. Tim left...
Tuesday, 8 January 2008 8:03 am

Love what you didn't see. Have fun not seeing anything.

By the way, do you know what Liuzhou is famous for, at least for Chinese ? It is lumber, perfect for making coffins. Or, at least, that's what I have been told over the ages.


3. liuzhou left...
Tuesday, 8 January 2008 10:25 am :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com

More than you ever wanted to know about Liuzhou coffins can be found here, here and here.


4. Ken left...
Wednesday, 9 January 2008 11:04 pm :: http://compgovpol.blogspot.com/

So the Party hacks..., er, cadres translated something to English as "Local gov'ts urged to conduct clean-fingered reshuffles" at Xinha.

Any idea what the Chinese cliche is and what an English equivalent is?

Ken


5. liuzhou left...
Wednesday, 9 January 2008 11:25 pm :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com/

I take it you are referring to this.

The Chinese for "clean-fingered" is probably 廉洁的, which I would simply translate as 'honest'.


6. Ken left...
Friday, 11 January 2008 8:34 am

Thank you for the translation. I thought it would probably be something simple for someone who knew English beyond the Chinese to English dictionary.