Rat Banquet

So, I found my seat and parked myself down waiting for dinner to arrive. Nothing. After a bit, the Director of Liuzhou Foreign Affairs Office opened the proceedings by welcoming all the guests then spent the next half hour or so introducing each and every one of the 50+ people in the room. As she came to the end of the list, you could see the concern in her eyes. She had run out of things to say, but we couldn’t start dinner just yet. There was one empty seat in the pole position of the top table. We were waiting for the big potato (as they say round here).

 

 

The Director bravely waffled on, invited a few guests to mumble something about who they were and why they were there. People were beginning to get restless. So, she gave up and asked the waiting to staff to begin serving us. It was 7:30. We were onto course number three, when the missing man arrived. Liuzhou’s Party Secretary. Now, he is the top potato. So, we had to stop eating again and go through a round of speeches, each duller than the previous.

Finally, we got to eat. The only trouble was that the food was as dull as the speeches. The full menu (in pictures) is here. Guests amused themselves by recounting tales of how they have survived the cold of the last few weeks and how many pairs of trousers they are wearing.

Then the Vice-Mayor arrives and we have to stop again. Actually, he is the Vice-Mayor but next week he will be the Mayor because the Party Secretary we saw a few minutes ago has been promoted to provincial level and so, the old Mayor is promoted to Party Secretary and the Vice-Mayor becomes the Mayor. Clear? Thought not.

Anyway, the nearly Mayor gives us a speech, individually toasts everyone in the room, then gives a second speech. He apologises for not being able to stay and discuss how many items of clothing he is wearing, but he has to rush off to a meeting. In a break with the long standing tradition of totally ignoring bad news, China’s President and Premier have both apologised to the people for the chaos during the last two weeks of atrocious weather, while simultaneously praising themselves for their efforts to relieve the suffering. So all party officials must do the same. He explains some of the terrible conditions in outlying areas of Liuzhou; particularly the problem of ice on power lines causing them to break and says he is off to a meeting to decide how to solve the problem. That is China. Got a problem. Have a meeting. Do something? Later.

 

 

So, we continue eating, try not to think of ice bound peasants with no power, then head out into the still raining, still freezing night. See you next year.